Tag Archives: #civility

An American Choice

Posted on by

Readers of this blog know the basis for my message.  With our future spiraling ever deeper into crisis, I believe there to be only one way to seek safety and stability.  Our neighborhoods and local communities can be prepared to provide organized and dependable cooperation.  As conditions deteriorate, we can choose to rise above our differences to the extent necessary.  Meeting shared needs will require effective planning and dialog.

This may well be an ultimate choice for Americans—and for two reasons.  First, it might very well determine the safety of our families during the coming storm.  And, second, as we work together in the face of hardship, we will discover what our fellow citizens are actually made of. 

This is probably the only way we can find our way back to the loyal perseverance and pluralistic traditions that first came to life in the American past.

It is easy to assume the worst of people who appear different from ourselves.  But they might actually prove to be quite ready to stand by us as dependable neighbors.

How can we start building such security?

Functional community always depends on personal initiative.  No organizational skills are necessary. When we reach out to our neighbors—down the street and around the corner—we will be welcomed by some and rebuffed by others.  But we only need a few to begin a productive dialog.

The effort to assess circumstances and identify needs will lead to planning and action.  Others will join when they recognize and trust what you are doing.  Some will take longer to come around than others.  Distrust is running deep and misinformation is pervasive.

The challenge of building local communities does not require expertise.  To get started, we only need to put our heads together. 

It is true, however, that the greater the diversity you bring together, the safer you will be.  This is because you will be tapping into more available knowledge, experience, and personal skills.

The dynamic interaction of diverse perspectives provides immense strength.  In my view, community is the crucial choice for us in the face of dire circumstances.

How much danger will we subject ourselves to, before we turn to constructive action?  What keeps us back?

I suggest to you that the greatest of all dangers is lodged in our unexamined assumptions.  There is no greater risk to the future of America.

Assumptions always get in the way.  They have no real existence except in our imagination.  But real people do not live in our imaginations.

We must free ourselves from this very dangerous source of alienation.  The danger is real and can become extreme.

Among those imprisoned in their imaginations, are those who propose a forceful approach to change.  Do we understand what this means?

Let’s be clear:  Force will create exactly the opposite of its intended purpose.  Traditional conservatism understands this quite well.

It was Hayek who said, “the principle that the ends justify the means is in individualist ethics regarded as the denial of all morals.”

Harry Emerson Fosdick may have stated this truth most clearly: “He who chooses the beginning of the road chooses the place it leads to.  It is the means that determine the end.”

And the conservative icon, Ayn Rand drove the point home most emphatically: “An attempt to achieve the good by force is like an attempt to provide a man with a picture gallery at the price of cutting out his eyes.”

Americans will depend on rational minds and moral principles as we navigate the rocky road ahead.  Incivility, negativity, and especially threatening behavior, will subvert virtually everything that matters. 

Influencing hearts and minds depends on demonstrating trustworthiness in our actions.  Which is why we can begin by gathering a few of our neighbors around the kitchen table. 

Personal sharing, honest dialog, and realistic planning are the foundations of local security–and for the future of this American nation.

The means by which we seek our intended purpose will determine the substance and quality of the outcome. 

Tom.

Notes to regular readers:  You may watch for the next post on or about February 2.

To receive email alerts, click the box on the right side of the homepage..  An Introduction and annotated Table of Contents for the forthcoming book can be found at the top of the homepage.

Trust and Distrust

Posted on by

The steady corrosion of social order in the United States has been accompanied by the steady loss of trust.  This is not simply a symptom; it lies at the heart of our difficulties.   Trust is essential to the integrity and well-being of a society, and trustworthiness its first requirement.  Without trust no family or community or nation can long subsist.

At the present extraordinary turning point in American history, we are confronted with a broken society.  We need to understand what has been happening and what it means.  Americans face a multi-layered challenge, and the necessity for trust underlies every constructive response.

Trust is learned over time through lived experience.  It requires active interpersonal relationships.  Trust is grounded in authentic dialogue.  Civilization depends on this. But few of us take the initiative to make it happen. Whether such disengagement is caused by shyness, fear, or myopic foolishness, the consequences are severe.  Growing alienation has drained meaning and constructive insight from our lives.

Surely it is necessary to re-establish trustworthiness as the foundation for the character and strength of a genuinely American society.  This will take significant time and effort.  It will not come easily.

Learning to trust is most possible in local communities—because this is where interpersonal dialogue and consistent engagement are most possible and most necessary.  When the going gets tough, local communities are where trustworthiness truly matters.

When we engage meaningfully, honestly, in personal relationships, we gradually bring trust to life.  Trustworthiness becomes real as we experience its dependability.  We want it because we need it.  There are no shortcuts.  Building a stable, prosperous society will take as long as intelligent and determined people need to make it so.

This is our first challenge on the path to creating safety and resolving problems.  To seek genuine personal relationships in the presence of distrust and alienation, requires patience and courage and grace.  Only then will solutions follow.

An inquisitive interest in accurate understanding, and the willingness to be the first to listen, make many things possible.  Even the most stubborn negative attitudes can be influenced when approached with curiosity and generosity of spirit—however long this might take.

Compassion can be a great relief to people who have experienced the loss of their hopes and expectations for the future.  As good listeners we can make it clear that we have heard, recognized the pain, and tried to understand.

When others are not ready to listen or respond, we must leave them to themselves.  But remember: Personal integrity and trustworthiness lives and grows with genuine interactive engagement.  They come alive in caring and considerate relationships.

The mystery of differences and diversity does not need to be threatening.  The greatest tests on this rocky road are those that call for grace, constancy, and generosity of spirit. 

No one is asking us to change our views and our values, but only to seek dignity for others as well as ourselves.  This is indeed honorable. But we are called to something even greater.  The integrity that takes root in authenticity and dependability, soon spreads to influence the character of the society around us.

We can all work on this.

In seeking to build trust, we are each met with two challenges:  We need first to prepare ourselves—which means working on our own trustworthiness.  Secondly, we cannot respond sincerely to others without an interest in the pain, fear, and disappointments they have experienced.

This is about interpersonal engagement; but it is also about accurate information.  How have others come to think, behave and react the way they do?  Knowing more of the truth in the lives of others opens doors and allows us to embark on the journey to trust.

Tom

A note to readers:  You may watch for the next post on or about January 2.   To receive emailed alerts, click on the button..  An annotated Table of Contents for the forthcoming book is now available at the top of the homepage..

Liberty, Order and Individuality

Posted on by

Among the most influential ideas in colonial America was respect for independent human individuality.  This might not have been widely discussed at the dinner table, but the feeling was strong.  Most immigrants came to America to seek religious freedom or to escape from oppressive social and economic circumstances.  Strong reactions to oppressive government policies and practices were expressed on both sides of the Atlantic.

The term “individualism” is relatively new to human history, first coming into common use late in the 18th century.  Leading almost immediately to confusion, differing interpretations engendered fiercely competitive philosophies.  But, that’s a story for another day.

My purpose here is to consider individuality, identity, and self-reliance in the context of American history and from our perspective today.

Individual liberty has sometimes been associated with egoism and selfishness.  However, the concept was originally conceived as respect for the validity of the views and experience of the individual within his or her own sphere, and the ideal that each of us should be encouraged to develop our own natural gifts.

This begs an interesting question:  How do mutual respect and the strength of community arise in the presence of human selfishness?  This is a very practical concern.  How do we think about it?

It is not hard to see that freedom without respect for others would make civilized order quite impossible.  A regard for the individuality and integrity of others has value for us personally, as well as for society.  And it is a basic principle of moral responsibility.

The perceptions and behavior of our neighbors can have direct consequences for our own well-being.  As conditions worsen, we will need one another.  We are all facing the same deteriorating conditions.

We may accept personal differences, but degrading behavior and open hostility are simply not acceptable.  We need some degree of order for safety and comfort.

Living with diversity is both beneficial and unavoidable.  Consequently, fostering dependable relationships with our neighbors is important.  This requires interactive dialogue and supportive cooperation.  Needless to say, dependable relationships need to be sustained.

We are all experiencing extraordinary challenges today.  The degradation of the social order and the physical environment are confronting us with greater burdens than we have ever known before.

We normally take life’s irregularities for granted.  But, the personal challenges to our independence and integrity seem to come now every day.  Trustworthiness and dependability are life-lines to safety.

Many things can chafe in life, particularly the actions of others.  Domineering people and dysfunctional institutions are particularly aggravating.  And yet, as mature adults we have always risen above the inevitable constraints in life to find meaning and purpose in a social world.

The future calls upon us to rise to the next level, both as individuals and as a society.  And so, I address each of you with the following questions:

Firstly, can we stand on our own two feet with fortitude and generosity of spirit—to serve a confused and fearful humanity?  Are we ready to be genuinely trustworthy and dependable?  This is the bottom line.

Secondly, we would do well to consider a simple question concerning these very complex circumstances.  What is it, I ask, that humanity deserves to gain from the founding of the United States?  And, as Americans what do we wish to keep?

What is the potential for justice and integrity that comes with “the American idea?”  And, why should we fight to sustain that potential into the future?

We have entered a new chapter in American history.  We need to reorient ourselves and adjust.

Miscommunication and antagonism limit our knowledge and hamper our ability to act.  Misinformation will subvert our best intentions.  A questioning mind and a positive attitude are of greater importance now than ever before.

We need to agree on an acceptable bottom line for national unity, which allows for diversity and ensures that dialogue and decision-making are possible.

We are all capable of a curious interest in understanding people.  There is no reason for us to lose our identity, independence, or self-respect.  What are we afraid of?

It is not necessary to agree with people in order to understand them.  And, if we fail to understand, we are flying blind.

Tom

A note to regular readers:  You may watch for the next post on or about December 2.   To receive emailed alerts click on the Follow button. An annotated Table of Contents for the forthcoming book has now been made available at the top of the homepage.

Courage and Authenticity

Posted on by

We are Americans!  When we encounter other Americans who appear quite different from ourselves, either in their character or their views, do we shun them?  Or, are we curious?  Do we test our assumptions honestly?  How will we discover the potential for dependable neighbors if we walk away with our first impressions?

This is an important question: Do we investigate the positive contributions people might have to offer—despite our differences with them?  How many good people are we willing to toss into the trash barrel of willful blindness?  What are we afraid of?

If we have no need of trustworthy neighbors today, the time is fast approaching when we surely will.

Practical needs are not the only thing that require good neighbors.  There will be no trust and no possibility of a secure future without real dialog.

Yes, starting conversations with strangers can cause a little discomfort.  But only at the start.  When we discover who our neighbors really are, and how their experience makes them who they are, we sometimes discover unexpected dependability.

Strangers rarely turn out to be what we imagined. 

Some people will reject our good will.  This is inevitable.  When people are governed by their fear and unable to respond with civility, leave them to themselves.  We must keep moving on. 

However, it is essential that we identify every potential friend and neighbor, every diamond in the rough, as society deteriorates around us.

When it comes to local necessities, nothing can be done without unity on some level.  Safety is found in trustworthiness, not partisan politics. It will only be with dialog and cooperation that Americans can navigate effectively through the narrow place in which we now find ourselves.

This wisdom is rooted in American history and heritage.  Let’s think about what we already know.  Recognizing and rethinking cherished assumptions is always difficult.  There is nothing new about this.  It is normal to feel uncomfortable with people who appear different from ourselves.

Emerson famously said: “People only see what they are prepared to see.” Stephen Covey put it similarly: “We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or, as we are conditioned to see it.” 

While this conditioning is natural, it interferes with constructive problem-solving.  And, in today’s world our ability to solve problems is the essential problem. We may need to help others push past this, but let’s not be responsible for it ourselves. Building the future will best be pursued with uncluttered emotions, clear vision and a pure heart. 

Albert Einstein once said, ironically: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” The reasonable person shudders at the immensity of the task.  But we do have the means to respond constructively. Americans are resourceful!

The path to a future we can respect and believe in actually exists.   It must be secured.  And, we do not need to change our values or views to contribute our skills and positive energy.

Trustworthiness develops with interactive engagement.  Working relationships that accept the mystery of differences and diversity need not be threatening.

In my view, the key to this riddle is best described by the Christian philosopher Henri J.M. Nouwen: “You don’t think your way into a new kind of living,” he wrote. “You live your way into a new kind of thinking.”

The kind of creative action Pastor Nouwen is talking about would be impossible in isolation.  Living our way into a new way of thinking can only take place in dialog and authentic community.

I have used the word “authentic” often.  What does it mean?  Certainly, something that is authentic is the “genuine article”.  Or I could say I am my “authentic self” when I am being consistently genuine in my words and actions.

So, let me be clear:  Authentic community is far more than one structured in a particular way.  Rather, it is one in which we share “a new kind of thinking”.  It can only be built on the foundation of trustworthy relationships.  And trust can only develop with experience—with genuine interest, practical engagement, and productive consultation. 

Tom

You may watch for the next post on or about August 1.

From the forthcoming book:  An annotated Table of Contents, a revised Introduction, and several sample chapters are posted at the top of the homepage.

Past and Future

Posted on by

Americans have an extraordinary history and heritage as a nation—a vision and exemplary model for governance which are unprecedented in the world.  As citizens, it is an honor to be responsible for this.  We are called to ensure a future that is free, just, and constructive. 

We are also challenged by the shadow of a violent and contentious past, and now the looming threat of a multitude of crises.  We can easily lose ourselves in self-doubt and endless recrimination—forever relitigating the details of a very human past.  But learning from the past is made real by living our best intentions into the future.

Americans cannot afford to compromise a commitment to an honorable future.  While it is quite true that responsibility depends upon truthfulness, the future also depends on the maturity, understanding, and generosity of spirit that will enable the United States to secure civil order and a free society.

We are Americans; we can do this together.

As individuals, there is but one way forward—personally and without constraint–and this is within our own local communities.  It is for this reason that I have challenged us all to rise above our differences, to engage with one another in the authentic dialogue necessary for problem-solving.

The necessities of shared needs cannot be compromised.  Safety and survival will soon require that we think about what we can accomplish by working together.

Doing this effectively will allow communities to address the future constructively.

We find ourselves confronted today by extraordinary circumstances, a multitude of dangerous and deepening crises.  And yet, this narrow place in American history presents an unprecedented opportunity.

We must rise to the next level, having no choice but to turn to the future with clear-eyed intentionality.

Herein lies the importance of knowing and understanding our neighbors; listening to one another with genuine interest despite our differences.  The failure to engage constructively will threaten the future as threats grow.

The number and diversity of crises confronting us is unparalleled.  Most of us know that something has changed.  The experience of normalcy has evaporated.  Our lives are disrupted and the end is nowhere in sight.

The world is experiencing dramatic structural change.  The rapid development of digital technology without accountability, exponential population growth, the loss of farmland and access to clean water, unprecedented weather—all this imposes on our lives even if it is happening elsewhere.

This is inevitable and no one’s fault.  That it has generated confusion and divisiveness is hardly surprising.  It is natural to look for someone to blame, but this is not useful.

Will we pull ourselves together as Americans did during World War 2, to make America whole?

In the midst of rapidly changing conditions, in a world confronted by hardship and awash with fear, we are forced to discipline ourselves as responsible, trustworthy people. 

The foundation for well-being is trust.  This is the secret of integrity in inter-personal relationships, in communities and in nations.

Dependable neighbors may soon become our only source of security.  We need to know how to make this work, and it begins with ourselves.  We might need to be trustworthy even when no one else notices or reciprocates.

It is true that trust lives in relationships.  It cannot exist in isolation.  And, yes, good-will is helpless if the relations between us remain unchanged.  However, trustworthiness is personal and in fact begins with ourselves!

To establish true community, we must turn away from the impersonal collectivism of mass society—to represent our real selves in authentic relationships.

We prove ourselves ready for community by living genuinely with others as dependable, trustworthy co-workers and neighbors.

Each of us is responsible independently.  No one can do this for us.

Tom.

You may watch for the next post on or about June 4.

A note for new readers: A project description and several sample chapters from the forthcoming book are posted in draft at the top of the homepage.

What Is True Leadership?

Posted on by

How can responsible people respond to the multiplicity of crises confronting us?  How can we best protect our families and strengthen our communities?  We have been discussing the growing need to create safety in the face of deteriorating conditions.  You don’t need me to draw you a picture.

What does it mean to take initiative?  I invite you to think about this constructively.  We will need to rethink our assumptions about the nature of leadership.

We see examples of assertive, self-styled leadership on the news every night—people who want us to think they have everything all figured out.  I think most of you know this is not what we need. In a rapidly deteriorating social order, safety and security are actually local concerns.  To think and act responsibly will mean engaging effectively with our neighbors, regardless of our differences.

I do not think we will get very far if we depend on those we see parading themselves self-assuredly on the evening news.

In the oncoming confluence of crises, effective problem-solving will depend on our neighbors. And it will only begin when we engage with respectful sensitivity in every interpersonal relationship.

Taking initiative does not, and should not, be associated with leadership in the usual sense. We have never imagined facing such extraordinary circumstances.  It is understandable to doubt ones’ own capabilities.  But there is work to be done.  Needs must be met and conflicts averted. 

As individual citizens we are called to recognize and respond to immediate local needs as they present themselves.  None of us can resolve the great questions and complexities in today’s world.  But necessities will confront us each day with real consequences.

We are not helpless.  Words can be misunderstood and people can be manipulated, but consistent responsible action speaks for itself.  It will never be too soon to initiate dialog and foster collaboration.

I will share a few thoughts here on personal initiative and collaboration.

When forming relationships with neighbors you may find your efforts appreciated by only a few.  Do not be disheartened!  Even a small number of those ready to listen will allow productive endeavors to take root.  A nucleus of thoughtful citizens can consult about local needs, begin to plan, and build trust.

Your initiative will be appreciated by perceptive neighbors.  Indeed, some may project a leadership role on you against your wishes.  This could become problematic.  You will not be happy with the consequences of such assumptions.

With the nation in a devastating downward spiral of dishonesty, delusional behavior, and pervasive fear, true leadership has never been more needed.  But, never has it been perceived with greater suspicion.  Responding effectively to clearly apparent needs will not be possible if we present ourselves as lightning rods.

Responsibility and constructive action are integrally related.  We can invite others to join us in exploring how this works.  Leadership is best shared and understood as grounded in the community itself.

In authentic community, true leadership assists us to overcome fear and hesitation.  It encourages responsibility and fosters trust.  Effective leadership can see the end in the beginning, and understands the road ahead when others only see stumbling blocks. 

Leadership remains calm in the fog of uncertainty, and unperturbed by the anxieties of others.  It patiently gathers frightened or troublesome people to unite in response to practical necessity.

This kind of leadership proceeds with a self-effacing demeanor and a low profile.  It often goes unrecognized, and this is as it should be.

When a genuine leader has been effective, a community will feel they have been assisted to take on challenges and win success for themselves.  And, when a truly great leader has been present, people will say only, we did this ourselves.

Tom.

You may watch for the next post on or about May 1.

Where the Future Begins

Posted on by

In today’s world we cannot wait for the future to come to us.  Constructive action begins with us, in our own neighborhood, and it begins today.  The small steps that form the basis for safe, dependable communities can begin any time today or tomorrow.  And the small steps are the most important.  If we seek a future we can respect and believe in, our first responsibility is to know our neighbors.  This is the foundation of dependability. 

If we are serious, we will gradually cultivate the relationships that get things done.  Each of us is capable of dignity and civility and a concern for local problem-solving.  We do not need to agree on everything—only about what needs to be accomplished.

Given the prevalent atmosphere of distrust and alienation, this will call for steadfast patience and determination.  Some of your neighbors will welcome your initiative, while others may perceive you with uncertainty or outright suspicion. 

There are many ways to reach through these barriers.  Practical initiative is best served with compassion, generosity of spirit and an open attitude.  But self-discipline must come first.

Where remnants of alienation persist, we must tread respectfully and make our goodwill clear.  If someone asks to be left alone, we can assure them of our respect and readiness to respond in time of need. We can also maintain occasional contact without becoming an irritant.  The simplest gestures can break the ice, even after long periods of time.

What is important is that we sustain dependable relationships with as many of our neighbors as possible.  When crises loom, this can save lives.  We cannot wait for what’s coming.  We must prepare for it.

The character or attitudes of neighbors can become a liability when we least expect it.  We cannot afford exposure to unknown perils, whether they are next door or down the street and around the corner.

While genuine relationships are the goal, we should not to rush into intimacy.  Ask questions, listen well and be compassionate.  Prove your dependability through attentiveness and responsibility—but tread carefully.

Avoid saying what does not need to be said.  Some will press you about personal beliefs.  We can respond deferentially while expressing a concern for good will and dependability. When differences become obvious, it will always be helpful to express a readiness to respond supportively in time of need.

In the beginning, you may find your initiative appreciated by only a few.  But don’t be disheartened!  Only small numbers are needed for discussion, planning and problem-solving.

With the nation in a devastating downward spiral of dishonesty, delusional behavior, and pervasive fear, true leadership has never been more needed.  But, never has it been perceived with greater suspicion. So, tread lightly.  Responding to clearly apparent needs with initiative and effective organizing will not be possible if we present ourselves as lightning rods.

Genuine leadership is exercised subtly and with humility in the world as it is today.  I am not talking about modesty.  This is a practical concern.  Taking initiative does not, and should not, be associated with leadership in the usual sense.

Under such conditions as we face today, each of us is called to respond to needs as they present themselves.  We have never imagined facing such extraordinary circumstances or being challenged in these ways.

It is understandable to doubt ones’ own skills and effectiveness.  But there is work to be done.  Needs must be met and conflicts averted. 

As individual citizens, what does this mean?  The challenge is personal.  None of us can have assurance about resolving the great questions and complexities we now face.  But necessities will confront us each day with real consequences.

We are not helpless.  Words can be misunderstood and manipulated, but action speaks clearly.  It is never be too early to initiate dialog and to foster collaboration.

Tom

You may watch for the next post on or about April 2.

Note to readers: A project description and several sample chapters from the forthcoming book are posted in draft at the top of the homepage

Civilization?

Posted on by

Human civilization has deep historical roots, and stories that teach us of both its values and its failures.  But, are we in danger of losing it?  Civilization does not wait for other people to “do something”.  It does not depend on government, or on “leaders” who promise to save us.  And, if we allow hotheads to tear civilization down—out of fear or foolishness—it could be centuries before it might be rebuilt.

Surely we know a free and prosperous society can only be sustained when we take responsibility for it.  Civilization depends on each of us to take action in our own communities.

Freedom requires responsibility.  This is a personal choice, and it can only express itself in action.  There can be no safety, no problem-solving, and no accountability without cooperation. 

Everything we need and everything we do depends on some form of cooperation.

We all need to live in a place where our neighbors and fellow citizens cooperate in ways that keep us safe and make things work.

Reclaiming the future will require a willingness to work with our neighbors to meet shared needs and resolve local problems—despite our differing values and views.  This has always been what America is about.

It will take energy and a positive attitude to get us there. 

The way forward is challenging because we need to understand the people around us, and to have the patience and forbearance to bring them along.

Working with other people can be one of the hardest things we ever do.  Our differences come from differing life experiences and personal hardships.  Yet we share many of the same hopes and fears.

What makes cooperation possible?  How different are we, really?  Everyone needs to feel safe, and we all need to believe in the future.

We need to learn how to be good listeners.  We have talked about this here before.  Most of us are used to listening for reacting and arguing.  This is not practical if we want to live in a safe community.

How then should we listen?  If we want to work well with others it is necessary to actually understand them.  There really is no alternative.

Understanding does not require agreement.  No way!  Understanding allows us to know our neighbors and to negotiate effectively.

When we open lines of effective communication, it becomes possible to make decisions involving specific needs.  It opens the door to constructive action.

There will always be some who refuse to cooperate.  We can expect this.  So, why should we try to help neighbors who see no purpose in engaging with us?

Why?  We are living in a society that is coming apart.  The dangers are real.  Institutions are crumbling.  Mental health is breaking down.  Fear and confusion reign.

The effort to make communities safe will encounter many who are distrustful.  Safety requires that we stay connected with them.

However, there will also be thinking people who care about the future.  We need to find them.  We might need to look under a few rocks, but they are nearby—wherever we are. 

And we must take action.  We cannot wait.

We need to know all our neighbors, and to maintain friendly relations to the best of our ability.  In a crumbling social order, we cannot afford to live with alienation next door—not down the street or around the corner.

Humanity is discovered through authentic dialog.  Safety is gained through cooperation.

Nothing will happen if we sit on our hands.

Tom.

Please note: You may watch for the next post on or about March 1. An introduction to the forthcoming book, and several chapters are available at the top of the homepage.

The Ground of Freedom

Posted on by

We value our freedom despite the constraints and responsibilities that come with it.  We would like to do as we wish without interference.  And the feeling stays with us because, unlike any other creature, we possess free will.

Free will can make us aware of any imaginable possibility. We can choose to be kind or ugly, constructive or destructive, good or evil.  Whatever we choose to do, we could just as well choose not to do.

Without choice there could be no morality.

We make choices every day.  Some are very important to us—activities and relationships, intentions and goals which will influence or constrain future opportunities.

The choice of career, of a love-mate, and the decisions to have a family, to stand by a friend, or to embrace a religious faith—all of these determine (and limit) future choices.  If we are adult people, we find our choices constrained by our sense of responsibility as members of family, community, and society.

If we wish to strengthen relationships or succeed in an endeavor, we will act with “response-ability”.  Because our “ability to respond” will have consequences.

Without responsibility we remain essentially isolated—denied the sense of belonging that defines our place in the world, measures personal integrity and enriches perspective.

It is for this reason that thinking people recognize the interdependence of freedom and responsibility.  Genuine freedom is simply not possible otherwise.

Understanding this allows us to live with purpose.  It informs us of the contours of justice that give structure to human reality.  It provides the context in which freedom can be sought and actualized.

Family, friendships, community, and society—these provide the context in which personal identity becomes conscious.  Together they form the reality in which freedom can be found and exercised. If we are to know who our friends and neighbors really are—their dignity, their hopes and fears, and the experience that influences them—we need to engage in authentic dialog.  We need to know how to listen for the purpose of understanding.

Ethical standards and respectful behavior concern order and relationships.  Both safety and comfort depend on this.  Civilized life is relational and can only be secured by engaging in meaningful dialog.

Making morals and making community are, it has been said, a single dialectical process.  Living in the world calls us to understanding, commitment and responsibility.

Yes, working with people can be the most challenging thing we do.  But, creating a free society—and a safe, friendly neighborhood—can make it very rewarding.

If we wish for constructive lives, we will surely seek the freedom that is our birthright.  And we will recognize the foundations for freedom in the finite limitations of existence.

We are finite beings living in a finite world.  This is the nature of reality and the ground of freedom.  The social order in a civilized society serves a similar purpose.  These are givens.

Without structural limits, which include our own moral values as well as the civil constraints of an orderly society, we would have no capacity to exercise intelligence and direct our energy, to explore new ideas or undertake new ventures.

For the individual, the ability to exercise discipline overcomes the limitations imposed by nature and society. The discipline to leverage our inspiration against the constraints we encounter provides the power to actualize our freedom and transcend material challenges.

We cannot leap without a firm foundation beneath our feet. We cannot fly without wings.

Discipline and limitation are, indeed, the ground of freedom.

Tom.

You may watch for the next post on or about February 1.

Finding the Door

Posted on by

The need for safety, and the urgency to secure food for our table have become paramount concerns.  Our many problems are not simple.  We find ourselves facing the onslaught of multiple crises and unprecedented complexity.  Never before has humankind encountered such challenges. 

Our lives depend on a complex global economy, a fragile supply chain, and an international monetary system based solely on confidence.  We watch apprehensively as the world’s population explodes exponentially, even as food production dwindles.  And, hidden in plain sight, the interdependent digital systems which manage and coordinate almost everything we need, can be easily disrupted.

Long-time readers will recall my concerns about the capricious unpredictability of complexity.  This is a new threat we have never before encountered. Already confronted with personal hardship and civil disorder, we must also brace ourselves for the threat of complexity—the shockingly unexpected.  

The hand-holds to stability are loosening even as we reach for them.  As the horizon darkens, where can we find the door to stability?  How will we build a future we can accept and believe in?

My argument that dependable neighbors are essential and that safe, functional communities can actually be created, has usually fallen on deaf ears.  Sadly, this is difficult to imagine in today’s America.  Yet it is something we have had before.  America was built on the foundation of coherent local communities, and we can learn how to do this again.

The wholesale destruction of communities by the industrial revolution, and the subsequent domination of a faceless corporate society, has had major consequences.  The loss has blind-sided Americans, and I believe it to be the primary cause of growing distrust.

Throughout history, local communities have been the place where human beings develop our personal identity and where we learn what it means to belong somewhere.  This is where we build relationships and gain confidence in our ourselves as individuals.

Americans are intelligent and quite capable of thinking rationally.  But for many generations we have been enveloped in mass society—a corporate-dominated reality.  And, mass society has its own impersonal interests which are not our own.

Today true community very rarely exists.  We don’t know what this is.  Political community is often the only community we have, and partisan politics are defined by division and conflict.

Most of us barely know our next-door neighbors.

Few of us live in a neighborhood that provides the safety and organized coherence that communities have provided in the past.  While we may not be aware of everything that has been taken from us, we certainly know the uncertainty, insecurity and alienation that the loss of community has caused. 

Hurtful experiences are common in this uprooted reality, especially among young people. The natural consequences of resentments and alienation are often misconstrued as disrespect or disloyalty or worse.  But blame gets us nowhere.

Any of us might behave just as desperately if we were faced with similar insults and injustices over long periods of time. Let’s think before we draw conclusions.  If we are ever to understand people, we need to ask questions, and to listen with the intention of understanding.

Nothing I am saying requires us to alter our personal values or views.  But a civilized future can only be built with civility, respectfulness, and responsibility.

We learn that people are trustworthy and dependable by allowing ourselves to know them as friends and neighbors. The best way to learn what people are made of—and to actually build trust—is to work with them shoulder-to-shoulder, meeting shared needs and resolving local problems.

This is the door to safety.  Each of us is capable of walking through it on our own, without regard for the confusion or misbehavior of others.

Yes, building safe local communities will be challenging.  But we can learn this skill, just as we have many others.  Practical guidance is available, and I intend to assist.

However dark the future seems, each of us possesses a lamp we have the power to light. Even the smallest lamp will dispel the darkness, which has no existence of its own.

Tom

Note to readers:  You may watch for the next post on or about January 1.  A project description and several sample chapters from the forthcoming book are available in draft at the top of the homepage.

To Seek an Authentic American Future

Posted on by

The challenges we face in communicating and understanding one another are formidable.  Americans have always been politically contentious, as one would expect in a democratic republic.  But, as we all know, something has changed. Public discourse has been stifled and personal relationships degraded by an atmosphere dominated by fear and distrust.  Alienation has degenerated into open conflict and hostility.  Our differences are many and they are significant.

The failure of meaningful dialogue has obstructed communication, suppressed perceptual sensitivity, and closed the door to understanding.

The observations offered in the first half of my forthcoming book reflect on the American character and the past—ideas and perspectives that transcend partisan politics.  We have a responsibility to reflect on the history that has led us to the place where we now find ourselves. 

No one has a window to the truth.  Our knowledge and perspective are influenced by personal experience and investigation.  Nothing is ever quite what the human mind and imagination make it out to be. And in this extraordinary time, we are confronted with rumor, misinformation, and manipulative politics—all of which degrade our ability to perceive things accurately.

If we are serious about seeking a future we can live with, where freedom is protected and prosperity has a foundation in civil order, we must overcome the forces of disintegration. No enduring solutions will be found where there is alienation and destructiveness.

The United States was conceived as a nation of laws because prosperity is not possible where the subversion of trust dominates the social order. Law can be debated, negotiated, altered.  But the rule of law is a fundamental principle of human security which cannot be subverted without the eventual collapse of human civilization.  Once it is gone, there will be no safety and no easy recovery.

A future that affirms the constructive vision embedded in the Constitution might not be in the interests of a few.  But the vast majority of Americans clearly desire to see the possibility for civility, cooperation, and dependability in the future of this nation. 

The challenge we face in defusing distrust calls for authentic dialogue and a willingness to engage in working relationships.  This is fundamental.  Nothing will otherwise be possible.

So the question before us is whether, and to what extent, we are willing to accept the conditions and discipline it requires.  As demanding as this might appear, it is a project with clearly defined requirements and available means.

To begin, communities will need to sit down and agree on guidelines that make respectful communication possible and constructive action possible.  OK, listen now!  This is not a normal situation. We are hovering on the edge of collapse.  So, acceptable language and rules of engagement must be defined and agreed upon among neighbors, in communities, and in business relationships. 

This is essential.  The necessity for creating secure conditions for mutual assistance and collaboration will have to be taken seriously.  If we want this potential to come alive, we will have to respect and protect it.

As I have repeatedly said, engaging with diversity does not mean altering personal views or opinions.  Diversity is a form of wealth.  It provides us with knowledge, experience, and the learned skills that allow us to meet shared needs and resolve local problems. 

There are many places in this world where we can express our views, and can do so every day.  But in the local community, let’s do this with objective concern for the reality at hand.  In other words, let’s not inflict strong feelings on others in a manner that compromises working relationships, safety and trust.

The truth about people who differ from us is not what the politics of conflict want us to think.  Rather it is what they actually think, believe, and wish for.  Without this information we are flying blind. 

Understanding is only possible when we listen with the intention of understanding. 

In a collapsing civil order, we can set aside our personal philosophies provisionally.  Because safety will require effective communication, graceful collaboration, and dependable relationships.

Tom

You may watch for the next post on or about December 4.

Note to readers:  An introduction to the coming book, and several sample chapters are available in draft, linked at the top of the homepage.

Why Trustworthiness?

Posted on by

Several of the American founders warned us that self-government depends on citizens governing their own behavior.  Among them, Patrick Henry, George Washington and James Madison all emphasized the importance of virtue.  I have observed here that truthfulness is the most important of the virtues because all the others depend upon it.  And trustworthiness is the sister of truthfulness.  Human civilization cannot survive without them.

How can we rebuild a foundation of trustworthiness in America? 

Well, this is after all a personal responsibility.  We cannot control anyone’s behavior but our own.   Like morality, trustworthiness is only possible with free-will.  It is a choice.

Sometimes I wonder how many of us truly understand the necessity for trustworthiness in a world worth living in.

Each of us is in a position to build trustworthiness with our families and in our communities, even if all the rest of the world succumbs to disunity and degradation.  Trust becomes possible through genuine, unpretentious engagement—honest interpersonal relationships. And yet many of us are possessed by the illusion that trusting relationships are impossible with people we disagree with. This is a problem.

Trust grows through the experience of good will, dependability and patient kindness.  It has nothing to do with opinion. We can begin to experience dependability in working relationships.  And when we get to know people through experience, we discover who they really are and put aside our imagination.

Authentic relationships depend on authentic dialogue.  And in the dysfunctional society we live in today true dialogue is rarely tolerated. Conversations between disinterested or self-indulgent individuals are little more than disconnected monologues.

We cannot understand each other when we fail to listen with the intention of understanding.

Americans have always been a contentious lot.  Yet, we enjoy one another while watching professional sports together over beer and pizza. Some of us have experienced the absolute trust required in the military.  Certainly, soldiers do not agree on everything under the sun.  But they do not question the necessity for trust.

The time will come, as society continues to break down, when personal comfort and possibly even survival itself will depend on trustworthy neighbors.

Can we see that the world is coming apart?  There is no longer time for foolishness.  Cooperation is becoming necessary to resolve local problems and meet shared needs. An inability to engage as neighbors and fellow-citizens committed to dependability, will become increasingly dangerous.

In the last post I wrote about the means for decision-making in communities and small groups where substantial differences exist.  A regular reader on the Facebook page commented: “You are right, but given everything that has happened in the past and is happening today, this is a tough elephant pill to swallow.”

I responded to her: “Hi Caroline. Do you think we have a choice? We are facing a major transition. In my view, a small number of determined Americans can form communities among themselves, and new people can be added gradually–if they are ready to adopt a realistic perspective and discipline. I think you know what I mean: Trustworthiness, dependability, a respectful attitude and the acceptance of differences. You need only to find a few to initiate dialog and begin to sow the seeds. This can take place in scattered locations across the country–wherever good will and rationality survive.”

Engaging with the people around us can be challenging.  But we need not convince them of anything politically or philosophically.  We only need to win them over as good neighbors, with kindheartedness and determination.

Tom

You may watch for the next post on or about November 2.