The steady corrosion of social order in the United States has been accompanied by the steady loss of trust.  This is not simply a symptom; it lies at the heart of our difficulties.   Trust is essential to the integrity and well-being of a society, and trustworthiness its first requirement.  Without trust no family or community or nation can long subsist.

At the present extraordinary turning point in American history, we are confronted with a broken society.  We need to understand what has been happening and what it means.  Americans face a multi-layered challenge, and the necessity for trust underlies every constructive response.

Trust is learned over time through lived experience.  It requires active interpersonal relationships.  Trust is grounded in authentic dialogue.  Civilization depends on this. But few of us take the initiative to make it happen. Whether such disengagement is caused by shyness, fear, or myopic foolishness, the consequences are severe.  Growing alienation has drained meaning and constructive insight from our lives.

Surely it is necessary to re-establish trustworthiness as the foundation for the character and strength of a genuinely American society.  This will take significant time and effort.  It will not come easily.

Learning to trust is most possible in local communities—because this is where interpersonal dialogue and consistent engagement are most possible and most necessary.  When the going gets tough, local communities are where trustworthiness truly matters.

When we engage meaningfully, honestly, in personal relationships, we gradually bring trust to life.  Trustworthiness becomes real as we experience its dependability.  We want it because we need it.  There are no shortcuts.  Building a stable, prosperous society will take as long as intelligent and determined people need to make it so.

This is our first challenge on the path to creating safety and resolving problems.  To seek genuine personal relationships in the presence of distrust and alienation, requires patience and courage and grace.  Only then will solutions follow.

An inquisitive interest in accurate understanding, and the willingness to be the first to listen, make many things possible.  Even the most stubborn negative attitudes can be influenced when approached with curiosity and generosity of spirit—however long this might take.

Compassion can be a great relief to people who have experienced the loss of their hopes and expectations for the future.  As good listeners we can make it clear that we have heard, recognized the pain, and tried to understand.

When others are not ready to listen or respond, we must leave them to themselves.  But remember: Personal integrity and trustworthiness lives and grows with genuine interactive engagement.  They come alive in caring and considerate relationships.

The mystery of differences and diversity does not need to be threatening.  The greatest tests on this rocky road are those that call for grace, constancy, and generosity of spirit. 

No one is asking us to change our views and our values, but only to seek dignity for others as well as ourselves.  This is indeed honorable. But we are called to something even greater.  The integrity that takes root in authenticity and dependability, soon spreads to influence the character of the society around us.

We can all work on this.

In seeking to build trust, we are each met with two challenges:  We need first to prepare ourselves—which means working on our own trustworthiness.  Secondly, we cannot respond sincerely to others without an interest in the pain, fear, and disappointments they have experienced.

This is about interpersonal engagement; but it is also about accurate information.  How have others come to think, behave and react the way they do?  Knowing more of the truth in the lives of others opens doors and allows us to embark on the journey to trust.

Tom

A note to readers:  You may watch for the next post on or about January 2.   To receive emailed alerts, click on the button..  An annotated Table of Contents for the forthcoming book is now available at the top of the homepage..